Until I became a twin mum, it never even crossed my mind the weird, wonderful and sometimes the crazy things complete random strangers will say to you everywhere you go.
Most time the comments are lovely. My two are usually well behaved and we do receive many lovely comments. However, over the last few years I have received some not so nice comments including how they pity me and even how they’d have killed themselves if they had had twins!
So have a read of the list below. Are you guilty of saying any of these? Are you a mum of twins too and have had these said to you?
It’s not exactly an offensive comment and doesn’t really bother me when people say it, although I do get sick of hearing it to be honest. Just think about it; your trying to get on with your day to day activities and once again your stopped by a stranger who says ‘double trouble’, that’s the 10th time someone has stopped you to say it that day! It does get annoying. A while back I was stopped by an older lady who asked were my children twins. I obviously said yes, then she surprised me by saying ‘oh double the love’ I thought how lovely it was to hear that, much nicer than the normal ‘double trouble’.
Are they natural?
What’s a natural or unnatural twin anyway? Why do people think it’s acceptable to ask complete strangers in the street questions that are quite frankly none of their business? Over the last 2 years I have been asked a range of questions by people in the street including were they natural, were they IVF babies, did you have a c-section – all questions from complete strangers! I don’t know what makes people nosy when they see twin babies, you wouldn’t walk up to a new mum with one baby in the pram and ask her did she push the baby out herself naturally! Would you?
I’ve heard it’s easier having two babies at once.
I’ve had this statement said to me on a few occasions and the mind boggles at the persons thought process behind it! Anyone who has had a baby knows how hard a newborn is. The feeding, the sleepless nights etc, so how would having two newborns as opposed to one be easier to look after? Surely the clue is in that there’s two babies, so double the amount of work! But, I have to admit, also double the amount of love!
One of each, what a perfect family.
I suppose from the face of it there’s nothing really wrong with this statement. Apart from if I’d had twin girls would I get ‘oh you need a boy next’? I suppose my biggest gripe with the statement is I have a 5 year old son also, so I usually have to add on ‘yes we do have the perfect family thank you, meet their older brother’. What is a ‘perfect family’ anyway?
Oh I’d hate to have twins.
Sometimes people must speak before thinking. Since becoming a twin mum I’ve heard a range of comments from strangers to my face but also behind my back. Such comments as ‘rather you than me’, ‘I’d hate to have twins’ and ‘oh wow I really pity you’.
All I can say is don’t pity me or any twin mum. Us twin mums are amazing! I believe it takes a special kind of person to be a twin mummy, we were chosen for the best job in the world and have been truly blessed! We have our tough days, like any parent but please don’t pity us! Rather me than you.
Twin mummy and fellow blogger Becca Blogs It Out has written a similar list of what not to say, check it out now!
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5 thoughts on “What Not To Say To A Twin Mum!”
Another great read. I found this really interesting. I think sometimes people say the first thing that enters their head without filtering it through their mind first. I am guilty of it myself!
I agree people ask the most intermate questions to complete strangers which often boggles and confuses me.
I do love the “double love” though and believe you are truly blessed.
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Oh definitely! Twins are fascinating and I never believe people say these things to be nasty or unkind. People speak before they think! I just never realised how interested people are off twins. It was only last week someone wanted to take a photo of my two in their double pram, because they were twins!!!